‘HOPE’ FOR FREE SPEECH • Censorship in Obamanation
In this snoozer of an election year, the debates have been anything but exciting. So here’s the plan for tonight’s bout between John McCain and Barack Obama — which I doubt will be anything but exciting. The rules are below.
I’ll be liveblogging during the debate and drinking my way through it. Since the last two nearly put me to sleep, I may as well make it worth my while.
What you’ll need:
- An empty pint glass
- A shot glass
- A bottle opener
- A bottle of Jameson (or Bushmill’s or Jack if you like)
- A bottle of Stone’s Arrogant Bastard Ale
- A few bottles of your favorite beer (I usually go with Corona)
- A bottle of your favorite tequila (Patron is perfect, Hornitos is nice, Cuervo’s OK in a pinch)
Here’s the rules:
Get all your goodies together, and bring some friends along too (who wants to drink alone?).
First, to get things going, pound a bottle of beer during Schaefer’s opening remarks.
- Every time John McCain says, “My friends,” take a shot (or swig) of Jameson.
- Every time Barack Obama says the word “change,” take a shot (or swig) of tequila.
- If Shaefer asks about Bill Ayers before John McCain brings it up, take a long swig of Arrogant Bastard Ale.
- Every time McCain or Obama talk about their “record,” dump a swig of the closest drink into the pint glass.
- When McCain and Obama agree, dump a swig of the farthest drink into the pint glass.
- Every time McCain or Obama stumble over a phrase (such as McCain did in the last debate when quoting Teddy Roosevelt), pound a beer.
- Every time McCain or Obama doesn’t answer a question or quickly changes topics, take a long swig of Arrogant Bastard Ale.
- If there’s any “game changing” moments (not likely), take a shot of Jameson AND a shot of tequila.
- If Obama brings up the Keating Five, pound whatever is in the pint glass. If there’s nothing in there yet, take a shot of tequila.
- If McCain or Obama start telling a personal story, drink from your favorite beer until they’re finished (you may need to open more than one).
- If McCain or Obama clearly gets angry, pound a beer.
- If you find yourself falling asleep or zoning out, take a shot.
That should be good to get us started. We might have to take more drinks at other intervals.
Like I said, I’ll be liveblogging and drinking … so join the fun!
A DEAD-END CONVERSATION • Goldberg takes on the liberal “at-least-we’re-having-a-conversation” types — and gets it very right.
Thanks for clearing that up.