TACTICAL BACON • With a 10-year shelf life, perfect for that bunker, earthquake kit, dorm room or Mormon storage facility. Oh, and it’s BACON!
Suddenly it all makes sense — the empty rhetoric, the flip-flops, the gaffes, the compulsive lies.
THERE’S A REASON I DON’T DRUNK TEXT IN CHINA • Well, in addition to not, you know, being in China.
CAUSE YOUR HANDS SHOULDN’T GO COMMANDO • Except for on Tuesdays, anyway.
DOES THIS MEAN THE FIRST WOMEN WERE HAGS? • I’m not a Darwinist, but this is arousing news.
DOLPHINS LAUNCH WORLD DOMINATION SCHEME • ‘We were playing around for a while but then when I wanted to go back in, he just wanted to keep playing. I became exhausted and started to panic.’
Annoying a vegetarian.
Via Right Wing Video.
“Running at over 1,000 pages and weighing in at 13 pounds, means RESULTS for your body! For only 52 easy payments of $19,231,769,235, you can’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime offer!”
I was once in a wedding where I rode a bike down the aisle and then out of the church, but this definitely is unique.
I should have paid more attention during the Cheetos lecture in art class.
(Via Moe Lane.)