I admit it. It was me. I said ‘retard.’

I heard this report on FOX News Radio driving with my dad this morning, and never have I had so much fun doing a search on a news Web site.

Apparently, some lawmaker in Upstate New York uttered the dreaded “R” word on an open mic during a roll call vote.

What was he thinking? It’s like the Special Olympics, or something.

Great pull-away quote: “If you think someone’s being an ass, just call them an ass! Don’t bring us into the discussion.”

Don’t know what’s best about that. The blatant hypocrisy (don’t call people mean names, but use this mean name!) or the fact that he’s admitting he’s a retard.

The key to this story, other than the laughs (“All I want is … re … shpect!”), is that the lawmaker the wheelchair brigade thinks said “retard” is Republican Majority Leader Dan Quatro. Had it been the Democratic leader, it would get shuffled under the special needs ramp.

After all, it was a Democratic president of the United States who went on “The Tonight Show” and made fun of the Special Olympics. The next day, Special Olympians weren’t banging their helmets on the White House door demanding respect. Obama walked it back, and it was done.

Would the same have happened if George W. Bush had made fun of retards?

I may be slow, but I doubt it. The Special Olympics has even launched a campaign to banish the word from the English language — like Al Sharpton tried to bury the “N” word (now that really was retarded).

And notice how the other utterance of the unknown lawmaker goes unnoticed. He said, “Jesus … retard.” To the PC police, it’s OK to take the Lord’s name in vain, but don’t you dare make fun of the tards.

What’s really impeding the development of this story is that whoever said it isn’t fessing up. Show some courage, man! How slow-witted can you be to just let the word “RETARD” reverberate through what must surely be the otherwise cognizant and reasonable legislative chamber?

Well, I’ll take the blame. I use the “R” word frequently. My guess would be on a daily basis — usually in reference to myself (Is that OK? Is it like a black person using the “N” word?).

Shoot, I’ve used it in print (even though my final assumption ended up being slightly wrong, but that just gets me in trouble with Halle Barry).

Or hey, can’t we all just live by the old addage: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me (isn’t that what the safety gear is for, anyway?)?

The language police were ridiculous enough already. Now they’re coming after us riding motorized wheel chairs.

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Flagged as ‘Fishy!’ by the White House

UPDATED

With a blog entry on the official White House blog, the health care fascists have been given marching orders to report those of us who question the president’s plan to reform health care as “fishy.”

Marcon Phillips writes in a post titled, “Facts Are Stubborn Things:”

There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care.  These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation.  Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.

While we decidedly are not fishy (we shower, after all), getting flagged by the White House is something we should be proud of.

So I whipped up some quick badges for folks to use on their blogs, Web sites, e-mails, social networks, etc. to brag about how “fishy” we really are.

Take ’em. Use ’em. Heck, even report them to the White House.

There’s five sizes for your malodorous pleasure:

468 x 60:

fishy banner

300 x 250:

fishy square

180 x 120:

fishy big badge

180 x 60:

fishy small badge

125 x 125:

fishy square

UPDATE

New ‘flag me’ badges with fishy links

The White House, realizing the whole flag@whitehouse.gov scheme was fishy in its own right, has shut it down. So the stuff below is now irrelevant.

At the suggestion of a reader, I tweaked the badges to create “flag me as fishy to the White House” badges.

Just link the images to send an e-mail to the White House. I do it using JavaScript, like this:


That will put “This is fishy” in the subject of the e-mail and the Web address of the page on which the badge appears in the body of the e-mail!

You can try it out by clicking on the badge in my sidebar on the upper right of this page.

Of course, you can edit the code to make it say whatever you like, and you’ll want to edit the location of the badge to wherever you put it on your sever.

Why do this? To bombard the flag@whitehouse.gov e-mail address and whatever Obama lackeys who read the mail with messages. It’s ridiculous that the administration would even suggest such a thing. On the off chance the messages will actually get read, why not send them “rumors and chain letters” that actually have some hint of truth?

What, you want all of them?

Fine, here you go:

box_zipDownload a zip file of all 5 here.

And for added fun, here’s an image for use as a Twitter profile pic:

fishy twitter badge

Are there any sizes we still need? Let me know!

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So if we dress like hippies, stop using deodorant and avoid bathing, you’ll pay attention?

UPDATED

The new liberal take on the scores of Americans showing up at town hall meetings and protests about health care reform is that those questioning the president’s plans are plants from insurance companies and are “too well dressed” to be genuine.

Today the Democratic National Committee began running this ad:

The crap this ad is spewing is enough to make anyone vomit. First, it portrays the tea party protesters as “angry mobs.” Second, it completely ignores the fact that Republicans were not in control during the last eight years — Democrats have had control of Congress since 2006. And we can’t forget that then-Sen. Obama voted for, and applauded, federal budgets.

And let’s just ignore the fact that the Democrats’ health care reforms are tanking in the polls. Those poll takers must be part of the angry mob, too.

Well, I’m proud to be part of the “mob,” especially if that means asking my elected officials questions, making sure they know I disagree with the direction they’re taking the country and standing for what I believe in.

Where was the DNC ad during the 2006 May Day immigration protests? Where they not “organized” using a “playbook?” Or does the criticism only apply to citizens who actually possess a legal right to vote?

Then there was my senator, Barbara Boxer, on “Hardball” last night.

Let me get this straight. Conservative protesters aren’t to be taken seriously because they dress well? If you’re wearing a tie, you’re part of mob?

And note that Boxer recounts her experience with well-dressed protesters — when she was asked by Al Gore to go to Florida as a proxy protester herself.

Talk about being out-of-touch.

Democrats are all for practicing democracy if you don’t speak English, can’t get a job and don’t know how to operate a shower. But if you’re employed, practice good hygiene and follow the law, you’re part of a “mob” hell-bent on hurting the president.

Barbara Boxer needs to be retired to San Francisco.

Tea party organizers take note: No showering a week before a protest, put away the razors and be sure to shop at a thrift store before showing up. Otherwise, Democrats want nothing to do with you.

UPDATE

So, how then do you dress for a protest?

Michelle Malkin has compiled a gallery of  “authentic” grass-roots activists. Of course, my favorite is the “less is more” selection.

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Misplaced faith in the power of Bud Light

obama-beer

UPDATED

As we speak, the president, the professor and cop are meeting for a beer at the White House. While I’ve taken some pleasure in poking fun at the president’s drinking choices, Obama’s faith in the power of Bud Light is simply fantastic.

First, the White House spin that sitting down with a cold Bud Light is real drinking is hilarious. Even the press corps laughs at it.

I wish the video showed Wendell Goller’s face — his reaction was classic (like saying, “Are you kidding me? Budweiser?”).

Q: Okay. And another subject, Officer Crowley is drinking Blue Moon, we hear Professor Gates is drinking Red Stripe or Becks — what’s the President drinking?

MR. GIBBS: The President had a Budweiser at the All-Star Game, so — why are you looking at me like that? That’s what he drank.

Q: We’re talking Blue Moon, Red Stripe, Becks —

MR. GIBBS: What’s wrong with Budweiser? Why do you hate Budweiser? (Laughter.)

Q: Well, he could get —

MR. GIBBS: Why do you hate Budweiser, Wendell? (Laughter.) Wendell, how about this — how about you and I, we’ll go pick out the beer, we’ll do the beer run. Uh-oh, hold, please. (Laughter.)

Q: I’m happy to do that.

MR. GIBBS: The mortgage services meeting is tomorrow. Apparently this has nothing to do — (laughter) — unclear whether beer will be served at that meeting and what it will be. (Laughter.) So we’ll go on the beer run together and pick it up in anticipation of the meeting.

Q: Pretzel or chips?

MR. GIBBS: Say again?

Q: Pretzel or chips?

MR. GIBBS: We’re just going to go straight beer. No sense in diluting it.

Look, there’s some serious drinking going on here. No sense in diluting Bud Light with pretzels or chips.

We should be thankful the president didn’t invite the two over for sparkling wine. But really, Bud Light is amateur hour, folks. It conjures up memories of frat parties filled with idiots who just turned 21 walking around with underwear on their heads with red, keg cups in their hands.

Touting the president’s preference for Bud Light (which isn’t even American, anymore) doesn’t add to his cool factor. Much has been made in the past about “which candidate you would rather have a drink with” and how it affects voting patterns. Knowing the president would be drinking a weak-ass beer and then lecture me for “acting stupidly” while drinking it makes me want to campaign against him (but I would do that anyway).

I seriously doubt the president’s Bud Light session will absolve him of calling a cop a racist without knowing the facts. We’ve all said and done things we shouldn’t have. Personally, I’ve resolved a few conflicts over drinks — but on those occasions where I’ve seriously offended someone (usually while drinking, too), it’s taken more than watered-down piss water to work it out. Shots of Patron generally are involved, perhaps some Jameson and either mixed drinks or, you know, real beer.

But Bud Light? Not likely. On its own, Bud Light isn’t going to get you to that “I love you, man” moment.

But perhaps the president just wants to keep a clear head. We all know how horribly he performs when not reading his teleprompter. Those words get even more difficult to see when you’re wearing beer goggles.

For some more fun, here’s Fred!’s take:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

And as an exit question: Will the president make Professor Gates and Officer Crowley pick up the tab?

UPDATE

It gets even worse (or better). Vice President Biden joined the three, and he drank non-alcoholic beer! What, no drunken gaffes?!

Actually, Biden doesn’t drink. Last September he cited too much alcoholism in his family as the reason. So we can’t bash him too much.

And for those who asked what I think the president should be drinking — there’s plenty of brews to pick from a great domestic brand that was named No. 1 on the list of “the most popular and highest-rated brewers — ever.

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Best tweets of the health care presser

twitcigSix months ago I said that I didn’t “get” Twitter — well, now I do. Perhaps too much.

Twitter serves many purposes. It’s like a constant thought stream, a way to keep track of your friends and, for me anyway, it can replace RSS readers.

During President Obama’s press conference last night, it served as a great live-blog featuring who knows how many people.

Here’s some tweets from the presser I found particularly amusing (which helps when you’re watching a press conference in which the president essentially says nothing new, important or engaging).

  • @HeyTammyBruce: If we had UrkelCare, Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, wouldn’t be dead right now.
  • @drstrangelove17: Obama mentioned the blue pill vs. The red pill! THE MATRIX IS REAL! Haha. Just… kidding. (maybe)
  • @allahpundit: There’s nothing quite like getting a health lecture from a guy with a smoking habit, is there?
  • @pinkelephantpun: Oh here we go, he may actually answer…. oh. Wait. No.
  • @mkhammer: “Maybe you’re better off not getting your tonsils taken out, kid. Maybe you should take pain killers.”
  • @andylevy: Dr. Obama: Maybe you don’t need your tonsils removed. Maybe you have allergies. Let’s check with a bureaucrat!
  • @CalebHowe: Tonsil-profiteering is one of the seven scourges of the economy, second only to the nutritionist-gap.
  • @jimgeraghty: I could be completely wrong, but I think the body language of the press corps suggests that they want to chant “bull-****” in unison.
  • @lehmannchris: Potus vows that Americans “won’t have to pay for things that don’t make them healthier” FREE CIGARETTES!!
  • @CalebHowe: So, you know, in summary. I’m the president. This is my house. George Bush. Tonsil-profiteering, and get a nutrionist! Clear?
  • @andylevy: Everytime I hear “And I mean it,” my immediate response is “Anybody want a peanut?”
  • @IMAO_: Missed the speech because we were hosting Bible study. You know – stuff about the other savior.
  • @mkhammer: My presser headline: Obama touts his ground-breaking transparency practice of… appearing on C-SPAN.
  • @daveweigel: Wait, I missed the presser. Is Obama going to ration health care for white cops or something?

And if you want to follow me on Twitter, I’m @rockmycar.

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First mom jeans, now this: Our president drinks like a housewife, too!

obamadrinkNot only does Barack Obama proudly wear mom jeans, he drinks like a suburban housewife, too!

Politico reports that when the president is out boozing it up, he prefers maritinis, margaritas and sparkling wine.

But rather than sticking to one signature drink, Obama’s choices are varied: beer, wine, martinis, sparkling wine, margaritas.

On a date night with the first lady in New York at Blue Hill, a West Village eatery, Obama opted for a wine that accompanied the five-course tasting menu, while Michelle sipped on two martinis.

On a night out in May at the D.C. restaurant Citronelle, the first couple turned down the restaurant’s famous and seemingly endless list of fine wines and instead ordered matching martinis, straight up. “And they didn’t even finish them,” manager Jean-Jacques Retourne recalls. “They drank mineral water all night and then ordered coffee.”

I’ve already said it’s lame that, according to Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the president likes Budweiser (yuck), but really? Appletinis, fruity margaritas and sparkling wine?

This is, as with the Budweiser, a weak-ass set of drinking preferences. No whiskey? I’d even give him a pass if he liked Gentleman Jack.

By the way, on the mom jeans, the president said he’s “frumpy” and that they’re “comfortable.” He said he wouldn’t look good in skinny jeans.

Well, he certainly drinks like he wears skinny jeans and guy-liner.

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Public option: good enough for us, but not for them

greggLast week the Senate committee drafting the upper house’s version of health care reform barely passed a provision that would require Congress to enroll in the “public option” and forgo their current health insurance program.

Ten of the 11 who voted against the amendment were Democrats:

In the health debate, liberals sing Hari Krishnas to the “public option” — a new federal insurance program like Medicare — but if it’s good enough for the middle class, then surely it’s good enough for the political class too? As it happens, more than a few Democrats disagree.

On Tuesday, the Senate health committee voted 12-11 in favor of a two-page amendment courtesy of Republican Tom Coburn that would require all Members and their staffs to enroll in any new government-run health plan. Yet all Democrats — with the exceptions of acting chairman Chris Dodd, Barbara Mikulski and Ted Kennedy via proxy — voted nay.

In other words, Sherrod Brown and Sheldon Whitehouse won’t themselves join a plan that “will offer benefits that are as good as those available through private insurance plans — or better,” as the Ohio and Rhode Island liberals put it in a recent op-ed. And even a self-described socialist like Vermont’s Bernie Sanders, who supports a government-only system, wouldn’t sign himself up.

Rep. John Fleming is proposing a similar amendment in the House.

How quickly will the “public option” die if liberals in Congress are forced to sign up?

The only Republican senator to vote agains the provision was Judd Gregg, who said it “will be so bad that I don’t think anyone should be forced to join.”

Is it any wonder Gregg decided not to take that commerce job?

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Show David Keene the door

davidkeeneThe American Conservative Union and The Hill newspaper should fire David Keene — quickly.

The ACU’s executive veep, Dennis Whitfield, should go, too.

According to Politico, the two have been caught red-handed in a pay-for-play scheme asking FedEx for more than $2 million in exchange for the ACU’s support in the shipping company’s fight with UPS and labor unions.

In a letter from the ACU to FedEx, Whitfield offers a long list of services the organization had to offer. The list clearly shows that the ACU is for sale. What’s more disturbing, after FedEx declined, Keene and the ACU came out in favor of UPS’s position.

The statements from the ACU since the story broke don’t clear things up, nor do they answer the accusations. As Ed Morrissey notes:

Whitfield calls the Politico story “false,” but note that he never denies writing the letter to FedEx that promised that Keene would write supportive columns for FedEx’s position if they paid the ACU more than $2 million.  That’s not “receiv[ing] support from individuals and organizations,” that’s selling a service.  It certainly left FedEx with the impression that they could buy Keene’s public support, and when he acted (either as an individual or as head of the ACU) to oppose their position after FedEx declined to cough up $2 million, it looks a lot like Keene decided to exact a little revenge for FedEx’s decision.

It certainly doesn’t bode well for the ACU, which sponsors CPAC, to be for sale. How can we trust any of their positions? (As it turns out, this isn’t the first time Keene’s been caught selling his position.)

Most disturbing is this item on the list of services the ACU had to offer:

Producing op-eds and articles written by ACU’s Chairman David Keene and / or other members of the ACU’s Board of Directors.  (Note that Mr. Keene writes a weekly column that appears in The Hill.)

The Hill is a respectable publication and, as such, should stop running Keene’s column immediately. In fact, any publication should question whether to run any pieces written by Keene or any other member of the ACU’s board.

I once fired a columnist after discovering he had lifted a few paragraphs from another source. He begged me to keep him on (apparently the whopping $30 we paid him each week was important), apologized for the error claiming he “didn’t know” what was acceptable.

But I couldn’t trust anything he wrote after that. Likewise, knowing Keene whored himself out to FedEx, we can’t trust any of his positions. We can’t really trust any position taken by the ACU now, either. Whitfield and Keene have to go to save what integrity the ACU has left.

And The Hill’s editor, Hugo Gurdon, should also drop Keene’s columns to preserve the integrity of his opinion pages. Space in The Hill is not Keene’s nor Whitfield’s to offer for $2 million.

Pay-for-play isn’t anything new, and many suspect it goes on all the time, involving organizations from across the political spectrum. But the ACU has been caught. The group should seriously consider replacing its entire board (they’re services were offered up, too) and its executive staff.

At the very least, it’s time for Whitfield and Keene to take one of those 3 million jobs the Obama stimulus has created.

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Michael Jackson matters … get over it

It’s understandable that people who only tune into news channels and Web sites for the latest news on politics would complain that the coverage of Michael Jackson’s death would complain that he’s dominating the coverage.

But, hey, get over it.

Jackson’s death, whether you celebrated (as my dad said, “now those kids can live in peace”) or mourned it — it’s news.

NewsBusters has been having a field day criticising all the coverage, but it’s still news. I wasn’t alive when Elvis died, and was only 1 when John Wayne died. But I’m sure both were covered like crazy by the media. Shoot, Elvis’ death is still commemorated every year by the media.

When I was in kindergarten, I distinctly remember my grandpa picking me up from school and then going home and have grilled cheese sandwiches and talking about Ronald Reagan. I also remember my babysitter, Marcy, and her record (yes, record) of Michael Jackson.

Like him or not, Jackson is news. That’s why it’s being covered. And it’s a slow news week.

And frankly, some of us should be thankful for the summer distraction. At least it draws attention away from the infighting between Sarah Palin and former-loser-McCain staffers.

So can everyone in the “conservative” media shut up and realize that news is news? Even if it’s about someone we don’t agree/appreciate with or despise?

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